Hey Dad, That Looks Dangerous

After 14 straight days trapped in a 200 square foot fiberglass box with someone, you learn things about a person that you never picked up in years. Such has been the case with my son John. Over the past two weeks, I have come to learn that John is not one for anything dangerous. Time and time again, John will say, “Hey Dad, that looks dangerous.”

Now I must admit, there have been some pretty dangerous things on this trip. Driving over the Rocky Mountains was dangerous. Extremely winding roads, steep grades, high winds, a little too aggressive truck drivers, sheer cliffs, and guard rails that looked like they were designed for Matchbox cars all add up to dangerous.

Bouldering on the rock faces in Yellowstone could be considered dangerous (of course, not for highly skilled and humble rock climbers like myself and Mikey). Steep faces, narrow handholds, loose footing, an unknown rattle (Nicole swears she saw a snake and Mikey swears he heard one), and the constant press of our adorning fans contribute to the inherent danger of risking our lives for a really cool picture.

Obviously, standing next to near boiling water which has been superheated by subterranean gases is dangerous. Yellowstone has over 10,000 active geothermal sites – more than any other place in the world. Some are as small as a one foot diameter hole in the ground that continuously releases steam. Others are the size of a hot tub that contain hundreds of gallons of boiling muddy water. Still others – the size of a public swimming pool – erupting massive columns of pressurized water with little to no warning.

And to make things even more dangerous, you have to stay on the boardwalk because the surrounding ground might only be a thin crust covering a boiling pool of acid and water. On top of it all, not all of the boardwalks are as sturdy as they used to be… John was particularly concerned about how this one moved up and down.

To give you an idea of the danger of the beautiful yet boiling pools of water, and perhaps the foolishness of people, allow me to share a brief story that we came across while browsing through a book entitled Death in Yellowstone that we found in one of the gift shops.

In the early 80’s a 20 something young man came to Yellowstone with his dog. When he opened the door to his car, the dog jumped out and ran into one of the 200 degree pools of water. The guy flies out of the car, runs to the pool and is clearly getting ready to jump into the water to save the dog. A bystander says to him, “You aren’t going in there, are you?” The dog owner replies, “You bet I am” and then proceeds to actually dive headfirst into the pool. Realizing the utter foolishness of his decision, he somehow manages to drag himself out of the water. By the time the rescue workers arrive with an ambulance, his skin is literally falling off of his body. He died the next day in the hospital of third degree burns over his entire body. Clearly, the thermal areas in Yellowstone are extremely dangerous.

Of course, the animals can also be dangerous and there are signs telling you so all over the place. Did you know that a bison can weigh over 2,000 pounds and reach speeds of over 30 miles per hour? Heck, when I was a kid, my powder blue Ford Pinto station wagon didn’t weigh that much and if there was a tailwind, it might be able to hit 35 miles per hour. Nearly every year someone gets gored by a bison… boy that would ruin one’s vacation.

Sometimes, bike trails can be dangerous especially when they are right beside 500 foot cliffs. In Idaho, there is this awesome Rails to Trails bike trail that runs along and through the mountains of Eastern Idaho (we’ll post a separate blog to tell you about that). For some reason, John would get nervous when I road my bike on the cliff side of the trail… but he didn’t think twice about looking over the edge of a 300’ trestle. Go figure.

Even rest stops are dangerous. In South Dakota, they wanted us to look out for the snakes. John wouldn’t even walk down the trail.

Probably the most dangerous aspect of the entire trip is the wildlife that you encounter in parking lots. Here you will notice several creatures trying to make their way into the R.V. after being told that they needed to get some fresh air (too many hours in an R.V. with your kids will make any parent cranky.) We finally left them back in because the Washington State Park Rangers told us that we couldn't leave them.

Of course, there are plenty of other dangers awaiting John… the Grand Canyon, Whitewater rafting, the elevator ride down into the depths of the Hoover Dam, driving on the freeways in Los Angeles, and… all of the crazy people waiting for him at Venice Beach (and he thought the people at the Rodeo were a little different… just wait)!

By Mike