Although I never earned my private pilot’s license, I did learn several important things. For instance, taking off and flying the plane are relatively easy… it’s the landing part that is hard; any landing that you can walk away from is a good landing; and if you get complacent in an airplane, it typically results in your death.
Now while it is a bit of a stretch compare driving an R.V. to flying an airplane, there have been a couple of important lessons I have learned over the last four weeks. An R.V. is a lot bigger than a car… so when you want to change lanes in your 12,000 pound, 29 foot long behemoth, the guy in the new Mercedes in the lane beside you is going to move. Always make sure that all of the air is out of the water lines before you flush the R.V. toilet… if not your going to get sprayed by toilet water… I’ve lost count of how many times that has happened to me (I thought about wearing chest waders to the bathroom, but I couldn’t figure out how I would go then).
I have also learned that complacency may not kill you, but it will definitely cost you. Such was the case as we made our way into the greater Los Angeles area at 9:30 p.m. Up to this point, there has always been a Wal-Mart parking lot waiting for us to spend the night. Who would have thought that there would only be three Wal-Marts in the greater Los Angeles area – that two of them wouldn’t let you stay overnight – and that the third was located in such a bad area that you could stay overnight – you just might not be alive in the morning.
After an entire day of driving, I was ready to sleep for the night so we typed “Campground” into Thelma and she told us that there were only two campgrounds within a 40 minute drive of our current location. The first was at Point Mugu State Park – right next to Point Mugu Naval Air Weapons Station (I considered trying to talk my way through the guard post at the entrance of the base, but after our last close encounter with the Navy, I figured Kathy would be looking at 5 years and a $10,000 fine. Hey, 6 months without Kathy I could probably handle, 5 years – no way – I would have to start cooking at some point). As we pulled up to the State Park at 10:05 p.m. we were greeted with a closed gate and a sign that said, “No entry after 10 p.m.”
That left the remaining campground – the Malibu Beach R.V. Park. Malibu Beach – that’s where the movie stars live – sounds good to me. Hey with my good looks and incredible singing voice… maybe I would get discovered. So with stars in my eyes, we cruised down Pacific Coast highway, drove past the multi-million dollar beachfront homes, spotted the entrance to the campground, and pulled up to the office.
Anxious to get started on the road to fame and fortune, I walked into the office and asked them if they had any campsites available. The lady at the desk tells me that they are full for the night, but that they have a spot in the overflow parking lot and that we can stay there. Overflow parking in Malibu – hey we’ve been staying in Wal-Marts – so I asked, “How much?” With a straight face the lady replies, “Ninety-six dollars.”The first thing that runs through my mind is, “Heck, I bet Mary and Joseph didn’t pay ninety-six shekels for the stable and at least they had a roof over their head. $96 for a place in overflow parking! You’ve got to be crazy.” I looked right at the lady and said, “I’ll take it.”
So with my wallet a little lighter, I wrestled the R.V. into the overflow parking lot, closed the blinds, and went to sleep for the night.
The next morning, Kathy and I got up early and headed down to the beach hoping to get discovered. When we arrived on the beach, there were no movie stars, no directors, no producers, no multi-million dollar contract. The only other person on the beach was some guy drinking out of a bottle in a brown paper bag.Go figure… well at least I can say that I slept in Julia Robert’s neighborhood… that’s got to be worth $96… naah! I think I'll write Bentonville, Arkansas… Malibu could use a Wal-Mart.
By Mike.
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